We were in Love, but why didn’t it feel like love. We had exchanged so many letters, but still it didn’t feel like love. Is there love only when you are physically apart and the momemt your bodies become one the love flies out of the window? Where does Romantic love go when you are have conquered your aquisition ?
I wanted to feel appreciated, She made me feel like I was a compromise. She has to choose between the Devil (me) and the deep blue sea ( her bondage). She chose me, but she couldn’t love me. I was a short term arrangement till she found the love of her life.
The love of my life.
I saw her, she looked deeply silent from within. This kind of woman who bring me deep peace, I am instantly attracted to. I pursued her, I called her. I told her “ I am in love with you”. She said, what do you mean? Please articulate, write an email to me. Since then I have been blabbering and performing the act of a lover.
I am like a fake doctor giving you placebo. How can I articulate about “Love”. I am a cynic, I don’t beleive in love. The long term relationship of my youth made me a hardcore cynic. I was never going to fall in love.
It all boils down to appreciation. I love this women for her virtues. Her virtues blinds me to her faults or lack. But the real reason is far more selfish. I love this woman, because she made me feel appreciated. Her gestures were controlled. She was generous enough to appreciate the man behind the idiotic behavior.
Is Love about value
So now in commercial terms, appreciation increases your value. In this case the mama’s boy is the most valuable person on this planet. Mama’s boy have a bad connotation to it, but there is a postive thing about these mama’s boys. They know how to value a woman.
I was never a mama’s boy, is this the reason for my failure in Love ?