Rape Culture and Why Men Rape.

Rape’s happen in our society and its basically men who are the Perpetrators of this crime. So there has so be some thing about men’s biological or sociological conditioning which makes them do this act. The laws are stringent and can mean you get a life term or get hanged for one little spurt of semen.

So why do men do it?

Let’s talk Biology first

It often argued by feminist that women have equally strong libido and so why don’t they rape. This is good rhetoric, but we know, what makes men aggressive is their testosterone levels. Even at their most fertile ovulating phase, a women’s testosterone is ten times less than a man’s. A woman’s sexual desire phase waxes and wanes as per her ovulating phase. While a man sexual desire is a pretty much constant (high) all the time. It is rather important piece of biological information everyone should know. A man is 10x more hornier than a women. This doesn’t mean he has a capability of enjoying sex 10x more than a woman, but yes he is horny and sex is always on the back of his mind.

Does this mean he should rape?

Of course not! The usual mating game is goes like this.

He is horny for a woman, he makes attempt to impress her and then he escalates by asking for her number and then a date. Till he gets what he wants.

Now there is this twist –

What if the woman he find’s so hot, won’t consider him a potential date. Women practise hypergamy, which is basically, dating someone who is equal or above in socio-economic influence to her.

This man now gets rejected. His chances of getting laid, are diminishing day by day. With every single rejection, he chances of getting rejected get more and more severe. He joins the numerous incel groups on the internet who make hate meme’s against women. Some of them also are about Rape. Fortunately, internet is an outlet for him to express his frustration. Also there is moral social contract which is hardcoded in the form of law, which is that just because you can’t get something you cannot steal it. He understands it. He is from that class which understands law.

It is often said the super rich and the deplorably poor have some kind of different morality or social contracts.

Rich people act as they have a basic impunity to act as they wish.

If a rich guy rapes a woman. He offers her a lot and lot of money or some potential big deal to compensate for this. If it reaches to the police, he has a battery of lawyers who can do a settlement with the Police or he can do a back hand settlement. Example Bikram Choudhary of HOT Yoga fame.

What about the poor guy who rapes – Well the police generally don’t care as there is no money to be extracted. The poor man usually threatens the poor woman he has raped and the deal is closed. In some cases where there is strong social pressure, the man is even wedded to the woman he has raped. (The poor man respects the village/caste/community law more than he respects the police. )

Poor man rapes a women from a higher socio-economic class

( I nowhere mean to imply the rich raping others or poor raping their own is OK, I am just explaining why this particular kind of rape is more gruesome )

If this poor man rapes a women from a higher socio-economic class (middle class) the outcome is gruesome rape + murder. The case of Nirbhaya and the recent Reddy case are such examples. Nirbhaya though from a poor background was on her way out of her socio-economic circle. The recent case of reddy where she was already a veterinary doctor.

Now here some guys from lower economic strata raped a someone from the upper socio-economic class. They are not capable of threatening her family so the only recourse left to them is to kill their victim and destroy all evidence after the deed.

It is said that the Police are there to save the 80% of the population from killing the much well to do 20% of the population. The 80% of the people who live in squalor need a strong deterrent to not kill or loot the other well off people. It is via the police they are kept in check.

How to avoid this gruesome rapes.

Rapes should all together stop. But we live in a society where lot of women are killed by men in domestic violence. So there is certain developmental stages we need to transcend as humanity.

But these gruesome rapes, could they stop all together? What if there is broader social contract between the have-not’s and haves to live peacefully and respectfully.

Closing Remarks

The #metoo was also an inversion of this paradigm. It was an outrage to bring down powerful men (predators) who thought they were above the law and the social contract theory. Though we didn’t have any gruesome rapes, as powerful men usually think they can buy out their victim or the police.

Caveat to the above – This is not always true. Some powerful paedophile’s men have been accused of killing their victim’s.

Halwa Ya Baladi Homage to Egypt Cover By Line Sleibi

This Egyptian song has become my ear worm this week!

This song was sung in the 1970’s by an Egyptian singer. The cover is sung by Lina who is absolutely marvellous at it. The musicians have also done an amazing job. The setting on the terrace create the most mesmerising atmosphere and you feel transported to Palestine, where Lina Sleibi comes from.

Helwa Ya Baladi is an homage to Egypt by Dalida (the singer) who was born in Egypt. Below is the Translation of the song. You can check the Arabic Wordings here

A beautiful word and many more
My country is beautiful
A beautiful song and many more
My country is beautiful
My hope was always
To come back to my country
And stay with you forever
Memories from the past
My country I remember
My heart is full of stories
My country, I remember
My first love was in my country
It’s impossible for my to forget
Wheres the old days
Before leaving
We used to say that seperation was impossible
And every tear on the cheeks used to drop
Filled with lots of hope that we will stay
In the sea of love
A beautiful word and many more
My country is beautiful
A beautiful song and many more
My country is beautiful
Wheres the love of my heart
He was away from me
And every time we sing
I think of him
Tell me love, where are you going and leaving me
It’s the most beautiful song were both going to sing
My country is a beautiful word to be singing between the lines
A beautiful word and many more
My country is beautiful
A beautiful song and many more
My country is beautiful
My hope was always
To come back to my country
And stay with you forever

I earlier thought that it must be a love song. Why would I like an Arabic song which I really don’t understand. I guess this proves the language of music is universal.

Hope you enjoy it!

Lonely City, Why Loiter, Can’t get you out of my mind.


I can’t get her out of my mind is a wonderful song. There are some people, you can’t get out of your mind. I wish there was a book which would help one remove people out of your mind. The thing according to Ayn Rand is that we fall in love with people is because of their virtue. This means we fall in love with the person who is perfect, until the bubble bursts. Meditate on this line – Your flaws make you flawless. Coming back to Music here is another track by Massive Attack.. This song by Micheal Kiwanuka is beautiful.


This could make you lonely. It is our pursuit of perfection which makes us shun others and we end up all by ourselves. Yes, I am very lonely. No other author has articulated loneliness as good as Olivia Liang on Lonely City.  She has explored the lives of some prominent artists like Edward Hopper and Andy Warhol. Another Book I am reading is Why Loiter which written by 3 women authors. They go on exploring city women and their relationship with Public space. 

If I could write a song or a poem for every relationship

Today Leonard Cohen passed away, After reading this rather long piece by David Remnick, you realise most of his songs was autobiographical. Leonard had several romantic relationships, and he has beautifully portrayed them in his songs.

I have had my share of relationships and I realised how each one was beautiful and unique in some ways, but I am just not a poet or a songwriter to describe them like Leonard. I feel being a good writer or being able to express oneself is very important, as that’s the way the next generation, learns from the previous. My blogs are my work in progress to become a good communicator. I don’t think I will be the best, but the stories I tell will be exclusively mine so pure and authentic.

Check out Marianne by Leonard Cohen below.


How Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan) made me an Atheist.

Nowadays I don’t get influenced by Hindi movies, but when I was a kid, the only way for a new idea to take roots in my brain was via Hindi films, and mostly it was the special occasion of watching an Amitabh movie. I guess no other film has impacted me more than the movie Deewar.

Amitabh’s character Vijay in Deewar is how I modelled myself, along with a strong influence of Bruce Lee my other Hero. Our household wasn’t very religious, but someone in the house would light agarbatti and diya in the morning and evening at our house. I had nothing to do with it after I saw Amitabh blaming GOD for all the hardships his mother and he faced when he was a kid.

I also conveniently blamed the invisible Gods for all my childhood problems, cause my childhood wasn’t normal like other children in the neighbourhood, I couldn’t blend in.

Check out this scene from Deewar, its sounds almost funny now, and I cant bear to watch it.


Alien love


We were light years away

Alien for each other, faraway..

Galaxies traversed, stars aligned to see a faint signal of Orion constellation ahead

Yes, we have communicated, but light years apart

We remain strangers, stargazers, hoping to cross the intergalactic highway

Dodging the hurtling meteor showers and asteroids ,

We will see the same sun over our heads someday.



Faiz Shayari From Merchant Ivory Movie “in Custody”

Lately, I have stumbled upon some Merchant Ivory movies. My favourite so far was this movie called “In custody” where the theme is about the loss or less use of Urdu language. Check out this song, its can be a consoling song when you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Heavy Heart meets dancing feet.

The heart is heavy suddenly, you cannot breathe well. You feel a pain, the pain is external, its the realisation of your loss, it’s the hope lost, it the nail in the coffin, its the square peg in the round hole.

The feet start tapping, out of nowhere the body is swaying and grooving. All the heaviness of the heart is gone now, you are dancing with the ones you love, though they may be far away.

Kurai Onrum Illai (No Regrets Have I) A rendering of the Tamil composition of C. Rajagopalachari

No regrets have I
My lord,
Lord of the Written Word,
My light, my sight,
My very eyes
No regrets,
Though you stand
Where I behold you not
My light, my very eyes,
Protector of all earthlings
I know you sustain me
Lord of the Venkata Hill so pure
You meet my hunger, my thirst
My hope, my prayer
You keep me from harm,
Lord of the Sparkling Gems,
I need naught else
Father of the Seven Hills,
Naught else.

* * *
You stand — do you not? —
Veiled by a screen
Only the learned can part
For they are the learned
Which I am not
But no, no regrets have I.
Crowning this hill
You stand as rock
Giver of Boons
Immutable God
Father to these hills
No regrets have I
Govinda !

* * *
In this benighted Age of ours
Lord —
The worst of all the Four —
You have entered
The sanctum
A shaft of granite
Where though I see you not
No regrets have I.
Boulder of strength
With the Ocean,
Heaving on your breast,
Of the purest compassion —
My Mother,
My very own, who grants
Anything I ask of her
Can I possibly have regrets?
The two of you, I know,
Stand there for me
No regrets have I my Govinda
None, none whatsoever
Govinda! Govinda!
Govinda! Govinda!

September Podcast recorded entirely on Garage Band.

It has been almost 4 months, since I uploaded the last Podcast. Recording a Podcast via Audacity was becoming a bit of a pain. So I decided to use the Ipad ios app called Garage band to do the same. The entire process is much much easier via Garageband. 

Check out the Podcast below, it has 3 songs. 

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

This is a movie which made me cry, it’s a incredibly sad war time movie, the idea was to depict the cruelty and effect of war on children, and it succeeds. Do watch it!

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
A tragic film covering a young boy and his little sister’s struggle to survive in Japan during World War II.


Sent from the IMDb iPad app.
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Burn the Witch

There has been a deluge
and not a drop to drink
whom do you blame
Burn the Witch
she is there to be claimed.

Famine has ravaged your land, You are hungry for blood
Kill the elderly or force hunger on your kids?
Steak the Witch
cause the Witch is always to be blamed.

The war is over, the conflict is not
you play to win, someone has to lose
Religious fanaticism is the “in” thing
Turn the switch, Burn the witch
she who has to face the blame

Lost your loved one, need someone to cling?
Warm your heart, Bask in the glow
Burn the witch, because she is there always to be blamed!

Simple Love poem by Rabindranath Tagore

The love between you and me is as simple as a song,
No mystery beyond the present ,
No striving for the impossible,
No shadow behind the charm,
No groping in the depth of dark,
This love between you and me is as simple as a song.

Simple love poem by Rabindranath Tagore by Manoj Nayak. Uploaded with SoundCloud iPhone

Thanking all people who helped me on my path to Awareness! and some music for Saturday Night.

What a Year 2009 has been. I have never been so consciously aware of myself. I can say well I lived 2009 in awareness, and have taken some decisions fearlessly. What a beautiful year!!

So let me start by thanking people, in case you are embarrassed by my public display of love, please let me know, I will take your name off.

1)      _______________________

2)      ______________________

3)      ______________________

Okay I was kidding. I would rather thank you all in person.

Yes, here is declaring that Im officially back from my sabbatical  and now on a work mode.(what’s the difference anyway?)

Leaving you with some of my favourite tracks, hope you enjoy your Saturday Night! Most of the good music in nowadays ihas been introduce by my dear friend Jai Talwar or by the RJ Malini who I follow on twitter.

1)      This is a Song by Corrine Bailey Rae Trouble Sleeping, love her voice and of course she is very attractive,

2)      Bob Dylan sings Lay lady Lay , cant get over the lyrics. Amazing ! My friend Jai has a book of poems by Bob Dylan.WOW!

3)      This a great and haunting tune On the Beach by Chris Rea

4)      This song was twitted by miss malini wonderful , warning if you listen to it, it will get stuck in your head, I can see Annu Malik copying this tune in 2010. Check Impossible by Daniel Merriweather

5)      Now this is the Super Duper HIT of 2009, check out this flash dance with Oprah watching awestruck , here you go I Got A Feeling – by Black eyed Peas