I roam around anonymous forums looking to talk to strangers about my problems. Mostly I want to talk to people when I am stressed and anonymous forum work wonderful. It is always available and people are there because they have issues.
So I was not able to sleep. I was worried sick, I thought if I can’t sleep I will surely die soon. I mean how much long can a person live if he is not able to have his sleep. Research says it is around 9 days.
There I was looking to talk to someone, someone who can help me unwind and let me sleep. So I can live to accomplish my goals. But She was there saying she cannot cope and she wants to die.
She said the life she is wants to live is being lived by others.
I can completely understand that. Some people have fabulous lives on Instagram and Facebook which can make us feel worthless piece of shit who don’t deserve to live.
But what could I tell her?
Should I tell her, you are fool, life is a gift, look at me, I have lived 3/4 of my life and I still want to live. While you sound like you haven’t even lived 1/4 of your life.
Should I tell her that I will help her live a life what others are living? What do you tell a young mind who thinks their life is not worth it?
These first 3 things are tied to Money and time. The horrible diagram below will explain.
Case 1 – If you have no time and no money. You have nada. You don’t have friends or family and your sleep is fucked up.
Case 2 – If you have money and no time , you can have your family, but say bye bye to any social life with friends. You work 9 to 5 for your family and to pay your children’s fees.
Case 3 – You have no money , but plenty of time, you sleep well Sir.
Case 4 – You have lot of friends and a beautiful family. But you ain’t getting any sleep.
The best case scenario is where you get any 2 some part of the time. Which is the one you are willing to sacrifice ?
Warning – Afternoon rant!
I been going outdoor less and less. I keep my self to my desk with the airconditioner humming. I am more productive AF. But then what is my problem?
My circadium rhythm is messing up. I am not producing oxytocin or serotonin. The chemicals needed to go to sleep on time. Due to the excessive heat. I am not seeing the outdoors. I am unable to sleep till 3pm in the night. This leads to a visoius cycle of waking up late and again missing the morning out door walk.
I know, I need to go outdoors. I will produce more oxytocin and keep my cortisol levels under control. But the weather is playing the evil.