I get up late to avoid myself
I get engrossed in work to loose myself
I talk to others to make sure I have company so I can avoid myself.
I flirt, I fight, I abuse the other, just to know that I am not alone to face myself.

I got a fancy book to read, got myself all wrapped up in the author’s 
tale, (as you know) books are the best companions. But now it’s the
end of the day and night is the longest, there is nowhere to go OR no one
to hold on to.

As I lay with my head on the pillow, there is the ceiling fan, which
reminds me of the countless people who chose death, cause it is too
dangerous, painful and lonely to live! The distance between life and
death in this case can be measured by the length of the rope and
of-course a little help from the beloved ceiling fan. Staring at the ceiling fan is profound act of facing oneself. How many
of us have the courage to do it regularly? I call this ceiling fan
meditation, works best at night.