Everybody nowadays thinks he/she is a writer, including me. A school friend on seeing my blog messaged me on FB saying “ I didn’t know you could write”. I chuckled, I could barely speak English till I was in 10th Standard.
In the 11th Standard, my Catholic neighbour would only speak English and I picked up slowly. So English is my third language so to say. Street Hindi/Marathi being the first two. One of the most frustrating part of my growing up years, is not having the right words to express myself. While the elders around brandished the vocabulary. I mulled and sulked. When will I have able to speak such pure Marathi.
My Marathi never improved, but my English definitely has is better. I am told I express well. But I know, it is nowhere close to be a novel writers English. But I haven’t read Chetan Bhagat yet. But I wouldn’t like to torture you with the idea of me wiring a book, so this blog is my way of asking to be heard. IT WAS BECAUSE NO ONE FUCKING WOULD LET ME SPEAK UP AS A CHILD< GROWING UP>!!!
Everybody would tell me I was a quiet child, when I was seething to be let out. I wanted to talk but I just didn’t have the vocabulary. All the time, all the relatives and family friends would say, Manu is a quiet child. I am still a quiet person, I really never learnt to speak up. I am not the person who will let himself on to others.
Those were the Dark Times
Those early 80’s were dark period. There was no one publishing articles on “how to become a better writer”. My father would have thought I was out of my mind if I had said I don’t want to be an Engineer but a writer. Maybe that’s the reason he passed away so early.
Writing is my revenge
It seems writing is my revenge or revolt against those elders who had the words to speak eloquently. Now when I meet some of those elders, I feel I am better sometimes at speaking and writing (of course).
Writing is about controlling your world
The world doesn’t make sense. Everything is going crazy. No one knows what is happening. You are growing weaker ( and poorer) every day. People are killing and lynching. The rich are getting richer and then there is the rather weird middle class. In these times, writing is how you control you little world. Till you are writing down, everything seems to be in control.
Writing is about creating beauty
I am happiest when I am reading. Once an elderly aunt told me. Reading is the most selfish thing a person can do. Her husband ( a very bright chap) was addicted to reading. He must have ignored the sweet lady. Just because reading gives me so much joy. I feel I should also write and maybe someone feel elated after reading my words.
* Note this document hasn’t been proofread, excuse the typo’s*