December 2019 I checked my weight at it was 62.5 kgs, for my height I knew I was underweight and has lost muscle mass a lot. At my best health in my 30’s I was almost touching the 70 kg.
I decided I will increase half a kg of weight every month in 2020. But then the lockdown happened. My Stress levels peaked due to uncertainty of what life withholds.
Looking like an Aids Patient Now
I didn’t even know if I was losing weight. My pants we sliding of, I thought, the pants have become old and maybe it is only my belly fat which has gone.
But I had a good look at my self in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. My stomach is now hallow like a teenager. I have dark circles under my eyes, the area around my eyes have wrinkles. I look sick and frail.
I haven't weighed myself but I think I am now around 57/58 kgs.
I have shrunk
I bumped into a friend after, like 2006, she said Oh God, You have shrunk!!!
My sister was the most alarmed, she said I look like an Aids Patient. She insisted on sending me meals every day, I had to tell her not to interfere and treat me like a baby.
The only good part is I am not sick, yes, I have my stomach issues, It all flares up due to a wrong diet. This is one of the reasons I eat less, my gut reacts.
I am scared of eating stuff which will affect my sleep.
Stress is my biggest challenge
The stress has been building up for years and I have lost my digestive powers since 2013. Before 2013 I had stressful periods but they didn’t last long enough. They were momentarily disturbances in my otherwise carefree life.
In 2013, I changed my house. This meant I let go of all the support structure I had built over the years. It was starting life a newbie. I had completely misjudged that life is so tough. The learnings have been enormous but it came at a cost, my body had to cope up or give up. It barely managed.
The lockdown and shrinking of income created massive problems for all. Hope we all get back into being healthy and happy in 2021.
I am going to put out a photo when I look a bit healthier :)