Complexities in life increase directly in proportion to increase in one’s age. As we grow old we have more and more things to manage to take care of. We have impacted more people in both good and bad ways. We have started some things we feel we haven’t closed up or taken care of. We feel responsible or rather irresponsible for the same.
We want closure to these things which we started rather in complete unawareness or in rather knowing state, whatever the reason be, the relationship, or the project which is not working, it’s a failure, its a embellishment, it bothers the hell out of you, because one cannot see any positive, affirming outcomes from the same. We all want to close that bad abusive relationship, or bad financial habits, or any habit or person who is of bad influence.
Yet, there are some relationships which cannot get easy closure, the pain is too deep or the love is too strong. I am not talking about relationship per se, material things like money also. The harder you try to tell yourself, money is not important, the more it comes back and tells you “See, my importance?”.
I also realise, that the things which you haven’t found a closure to yet, are precisely the things that make you live. I realise I am living my life for these things which are not perfect or for which i feel responsible.
Its a dichotomy, the things which hurt you cause you pain, make you feel like a incompetent, unworthy person are the same things which drive you.
I guess I am not talking sense or i am not able to explain this conflict between the need for closure and the need to “not close it” because it is the reason for your living.
Somethings have no closure, and something’s we deliberately don’t prefer to close it.