No means No but consent is much nuanced.

love Nov 01, 2018

The husband is a wife beater, but the wife refuses to register a Police complaint. It has been going on for years. She could really put him behind bars, but forget calling in the Police she endures it and lives with it. Does this mean that she consents to her husband beating her up?

They fight like cats and dogs. She tells him to get out of the house. Everyday it is the same story. She goes hysterical and goes maa bahen on him. Maybe he started the fight by calling her a whore. But the moment he steps out she says don’t go. They are lovers again. Does this mean she like to be called a whore and wants to go this mental trauma everyday?

He whatsapp her everyday, she like his attention. But she doesn’t see any future with him. But he hasn’t whatsapp’d her for quite a few days. She misses him. They are friendly again but then she cannot handle him coming over her. He is confused and backs off. Only to start the entire cycle again. Here obvisouly there is consent when she misses him and not when he comes on too strong on.

Maybe I am mixing up. Why are some bonds so easily broken while some relationships are impossible to break? Who will judge these relationships, is it abuse or is it relationship karma. The thing is no one says #metoo while in the exchange but in restrospect they clearly look like abuse.

Are we selfish humans only call out when we see we are fully secure from any direct harm? I am not making any judgement on consent. Is no really a no? I am not so sure. No is for negotiation, no is for going back to the drawing board and chasing what you desire, however sick it may sound. Our blueprints are made by people we desire in our life.

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