Of relationships and relating.

relationships Mar 29, 2010

When I mean relationships, I mean the entire spectrum of relationships. They may be extended family, parents, children, brothers, sisters or even friends or work colleagues.  They can also be (not necessarily) your staff or the people you work for. I would say they are the one, who you take responsibility to care and to love, no matter what. It’s a bond which is made in heaven.

Most of the time I have seen that one does not relate to these people who we are in a relationship with. Take the case of parents not understanding their children, or siblings not getting along, or children as they grow up wanting to spend more and more time with their friends or with themselves. All these are examples are of not relating, but they are still in a relationship. Another example can be of married couples who don’t find themselves romantically relating and would rather be with some Mr. X or Miss/Mrs Y.

But again there are other types of relationships we form, eg with friends or at work. Sometimes with some friends particularly old friends where you have stopped relating with the person but still care for him/her. Or sometimes when you know your particular employee is not working well and doesn’t understand your vision, but you still don’t sack that person. It’s again a relationship!

Relationships require time and understanding and complete unconditional love.

Relating is basically a common interest or passion where being together is fun. You can relate to that person as long as this common interest/need is there. There is no long term involvement like a relationship

Some examples are, when two people meet and it sometimes happens that the other person is completing your sentences or when you are so bonding with the person because he/she understands your passion. It can also be that awesome sexual chemistry between two people, where you are inspired to exchange numbers, and meet up. It can also be the immense faith you put in your idols (like say film stars or cricketers) cause they fill that void or inspire you. All these are instances of relating. You can again relate to a person cause you belong to the same culture or caste(religion) or speak the same language.

I have always given more importance to relating rather that to relationships. As a consequence I haven’t  so many successful relationships. Recently I met a old friend, who said I was not picking up my phone when he was in desperate need of a friend, when he was completely broke and had to sell of his car and his property. I didn’t pick up the phone, cause I thought I had stopped relating to this old friend. I felt sorry I was not there for him. I realized I have a relationship with him, though I don’t find his talks exciting or interesting, I still love him.

I am wondering why isn’t it possible to love every one unconditionally, why can’t we love other people’s children as much as we love our children. Why do we have to pick up only these few people to love. Sometimes loving one person means not taking care of the interests of the other person, and this has been the reason for all the bloody wars and ruthless competition. We don’t want our children to suffer, we want our wife to have enough jewelry so the neighbors can envy her, don’t we? We want to gift our loved ones with most expensive gifts or lifestyle, that we will do practically everything and anything for it, wont we?

I can only guess a answer here, I suppose we are meant to adhere to some laws of nature and have an capacity or karma towards only a few people(who we are having relationships with), hence we have to choose carefully whom to love and how much time and energy we can give towards nurturing these relationship.

So this all comes to a point, is relating as important as relationships? My answer for now is relationships are more important only if you can give time, otherwise stick to relating J . And since time is scarcest of all the resource, let’s say cheers to a less & less relationship based society, Let’s all just rejoice and relate!

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