Reprogramming the subsconsious mind.

It is said that our conscious mind is only 5% and the other 95% is the subconscious mind. Also th processing speed of the conscious mind is about 40000 time slower then of the subsconcious mind.

If we try to to push our subconscious mind to get everything we want, we might just go crazy by over thinking or doing positive thinking. That’s why many people try their best and then let God take over. The God is th subsconsious mind.

The Subconsious mind

The subsconsious mind is our belief system, it is our habit (patterns). You notice this when you react to something. Suppose as a child you were bullied by much stronger kid, this memory will go in to subsconsious and you will hav a belief system which says, you are physically weak.

The subsconsious mind is programmed in the NOW. If we don’t deal with th issue at hand, it will leave its residual dust on your subsconsious.

Inspiration

It is rather complicated topic. The inspiration for this blogpost was this YouTube video here https://youtu.be/eB-vh6VWdcM

The Working Middle Class Man

He is tough. If needed he can get into a fist fight, he is always ready to do anything to defend his zar, zoru and zameen. ( Wealth, Women and Land) and that’s the ultimate duty of this Working Middle Class Man.

He doesn’t like effeminate bullshit like philosophy and discussions, he believes in action. He loves blue collar work, though he himself has managed to prosper in a white collared profession. His aspirations are simple, family, family and family.

He has strict rules in the family. He expects his daughter to be in the house before 8pm. He controls everything in the house. But he is generous when things are going his way. Mind you there is no other way.

She says she wants to die

I roam around anonymous forums looking to talk to strangers about my problems. Mostly I want to talk to people when I am stressed and anonymous forum work wonderful. It is always available and people are there because they have issues.

So I was not able to sleep. I was worried sick, I thought if I can’t sleep I will surely die soon. I mean how much long can a person live if he is not able to have his sleep. Research says it is around 9 days.

There I was looking to talk to someone, someone who can help me unwind and let me sleep. So I can live to accomplish my goals. But She was there saying she cannot cope and she wants to die.

She said the life she is wants to live is being lived by others.

I can completely understand that. Some people have fabulous lives on Instagram and Facebook which can make us feel worthless piece of shit who don’t deserve to live.

But what could I tell her?

Should I tell her, you are fool, life is a gift, look at me, I have lived 3/4 of my life and I still want to live. While you sound like you haven’t even lived 1/4 of your life.

Should I tell her that I will help her live a life what others are living? What do you tell a young mind who thinks their life is not worth it?

Are you responsible for your Bad Luck?

I hate self help books. But I think I am feeling down, I was feeling that I am not giving 100% to what I do. Then I saw this book “ The 10X Rule” at a shop. I thought this is what I want, I want to perform 10X of my current output.

I take it easy, I like to listen to music, Read everyday for 2/3 hours. I don’t like working like a mad man. But I know this is the price you pay to be successful. So I picked up this book and said maybe it will help me work at 10X my current speed.

So the chapter which said don’t play the victim.

I have never thought of myself a victim. But then author says all your bad luck is created by yourself. I agreed. He cites the example of car accident. He says of all the thousands of car. It was your car which got involved in the accident, because it was your subconscious mind which decided to leave at the particular time and be present at that particular spot driving at a particular speed to make the accident happen. So don’t play the victim game.

My List of so called Bad Lucks

I only realise the catastrophe I have faced when people remind me of it. Otherwise I generally feel happy just to be alive. One elderly person said, If there was someone else who had gone through all this, he might have given up.

So let’s see if I was responsible for the bad luck which the Society thinks I have been thrown.
1. My mother was a raging alcoholic and my parents divorced when I was 12.

Was I responsible for this? Nope.

2. My father married and I has a step mother, whose interest were more inclined with her biological daughter.

Was I responsible for this? Nope

3. I got married and my father passed away when I was 26.

This is where I do feel responsible. Though I was 400 kms away from my father I believe some kind of stress killed my father. If I was a bit more competent and responsible young man, I could have saved him. So indirectly I do feel part of this bad luck of mine.

4. I got divorced after 7 years of marriage.

Looking back I don’t think this is at all bad luck, but yes, I lost all my support system when I separated and I felt I had no one. Not to mention my two lovely kids.

If it was bad luck then I was 100% responsible.

5. I shut down my factory

I had a robbery in my factory. I lost 11 lacs of stock. That was my working capital. I don’t consider it bad luck, but yes, it took away all I worked for 13 years. I was back to square one. It reduced my social status.

I was 100 percent incompetent and didn’t know people could do evil things like robbery.

6. A bank gave me 4 days notice to pay a huge sum or they would auction the house I lived in.

In 4 days I sold the house and paid the bank. But I was thrown out to the expensive rent market and I could never get the same social status of being in your own house. With the current levels of my income, it would probably take me 3 lifetimes to make money to buy a house.

This was the money my father owed the bank. I don’t feel responsible for this situation. Also dad left without a will, so I had a step mom to deal with on property.

Conclusion

So, you have your parents karma which you are not responsible for. Like you inherit your parents wealth and liabilities. This is not your responsibility. But yes, for your decisions. You are responsible.

A Midnight Buffet

They met at a conference. It was a shallow connection. The only thing that interested her was that he was in to Salsa dancing. She expressed interest that she would like to check out the Salsa scene in Mumbai while she was here.

Soon they were at a Salsa place. She wasn’t really a dancer but he thought she had a good time at the Salsa dance Party. After the party she said, I want to check out the midnight Buffet at this place. She had her plans pre thought out. While she must have been at-least 15/20 years younger to him, She was the one who knew what she wanted, until the midnight buffet.

The Midnight Buffet talks

They hadn’t really gotten much to talk with the loud music at the club, now in the quietude of the 5 star restaurant she started talking. This was when the penny dropped. He realised that he was with a teenager with teenage issues. She talked about her problems with her parents and her life.

He felt he was struck by a sledge hammer. He couldn’t relate at all to what was happening. He wanted out, but how could he leave the young girl and leave. But eventually the midnight buffet ended at 3pm. As the valet was getting the car, he was furious, he didn’t like how the evening had gone. He decided to do some Adult talk.

The Ride back to home

They both sat in the car and headed to drop her at her place. He made the move. He caught her hand, and asked her if she wanted to go to his home? He admired her for her calmness, she was not scared of much older guy who wanted her. She calmly shook her head in “No”. He thought maybe she isn’t sure and just shy. He again took her hand and requested her to spend the night at his place. This time her NO was firm.

He knew this was it. He had his adult talk and now should drop her home. But still he didn’t like the idea of the cold bed home. He asked her once again, she said NO.

They didn’t speak much, he dropped her and went home. He didn’t feel bad. He knew she was firm and he had no chance of a one night stand.

Inverting the Institution of Marriage to Eliminate INEQUALITY

I deal with the middle class. I mean I run online communities, where the people who consume content are the middle class. This has given me no choice but to study this class for their behaviours and biases. I am not an expert so my knowledge is made of lot of stuff I read by western authors and writers.

The Middle Class hates the Poorer class

One thing is certain, the middle class hates the poor. When I say poor they are not the slum dwellers. They are just not on the same social ladder as the middle class. One thing which could easily categorise these two classes are

The Battle of the two Classes

1. One class owns one or more cars – i.e the Middle Class which seldom use public transport.
2. The other class doesn’t own a car or If they own it, it is used for commercial purpose. I.e the lower class which mostly use public transport.

Inverting the Institution of Marriage

Marriage is the biggest social indicator of life. Who you marry will define your social status for the rest of your life. Unless you have the guts to divorce.

The Sole Purpose of Marriage

Let marriage no longer be an institution. We have burdened marriage with too many responsibilities. Let marriage be for the sole purpose of someone to take care of you when you are sick or take care of your old parents. Yes, reduction to one thing.

Marry only to person from a much lower economic status

It is said migration is the biggest cause of improving economic conditions. People migrate from villages to cities, from cities to economic centres worldwide.

What about social migration?
Physical migration might improve the economic conditions, it might give you comforts which you never even thought of. But you mind is still in the village and small town. You only interact with other migrants from your pind.

Social Migration via Marriage

Now, marry someone from other social-economic background and it is certain that there would be a big leap in your social conditions.

Also the bonus is it might reduce inequality.

What is SOCIAL and CULTURAL CAPITAL?

Let’s get the definition sorted.

SOCIAL CAPITAL – is like a currency. Suppose you have 10 close friends. They are your social capital. Suppose you are respected and loved by your fans and your community that is again your social capital. So social capital increases if your friends and social circle think good of you and decreases if you are not nice to them.

Social capital is a currency whose values increases and decreases as per time. It is dependent on lot of factors like how much money you have, how influential you are. How you treated a friend of an acquaintance.

CULTURAL CAPITAL – Cultural capital is what is your family background, what class you belong too. What kind of education you received. What kind of social parties you attend. Are you a music or an art connoisseur? The food you consume. For eg. Organic food, Fair Trade coffee etc.

How to HUG someone magically

A hug is magical and esoteric. I shouldn’t even be writing about it.

In a research it was observed that new born babies who were touched put on weight faster and were healthier that the babies who were isolated.

What applies to babies also applies to humans. We as a society have become suspicious of touch. The reason we are suspicious about a Hug is because a hug is hierarchical in nature. For eg. A elder person is more likely to hug a younger person and so on. A more respected person will be the first one to initiate the hug.

Also there is #metoo to consider, what if you feel like giving a female colleague for a job well done?

So now even after reading the political nature of a hug, I would advocate a hug.

BUT there is a right way of hugging someone.

Let me start with some don’t for Hugs.
1. If you ask someone if you can hug him/her, just don’t fucking do it. If you need to get the other person permission to hug. It means you need to create this artificial intimacy (“apnapan” is the right word)
2. If you give hugs as a ritual when you meet someone or say good bye. That hug is again mechanical and is not a healing touch.
3. HUGs are special, don’t stand on the road with a placard saying “ FREE HUGS”. They are farcical and a marketing gimmick.

SO HOW DO YOU GIVE THE RIGHT HUG?

HUGS should be spontaneous. The person who gets hugged spontaneously is left with a surprise of receiving such a generous gift. HUG is a reward when you are so fond of someone or what the person did for you that you body reacts with the hug. Hug is the human way of saying thank you for being the gift you are for me in the NOW.

Don’t chase your dreams

We have been told to chase our dreams, follow our heart, dream big. When someone tells us these Rhetorics, we don’t question them. These sentences are uttered mostly by people in power, someone who has an authority over you. So naturally you tend to not question them. We are instinctively built to trust authority and power.

Recently I was reading an article on ‘ first principles thinking”. It is basically breaking down complex problems in to basics and building it up. It is one of the mental models for thinking. In case you are interested in mental models Farman Street is the place.

ASK WHY WHY WHY TILL YOU REACH THE I

So next time someone tells you such empty words like “Chase your Dreams” – Ask the person “ Why does he want you to chase the dream? Is this recommendation coming from his failure to chase and achieve the dream?”

First-principles reasoning cuts through dogma and removes the blinders. We can see the world as it is and see what is possible.

DON’T MISS THE NOW

Another reason for not chasing the dream is that you are always living in the future and missing the Now. (If there is something like now). Don’t take my word for it. Question this statement of mine.

Are you smart or just street smart?

Do you often wonder, why the school bully who failed in class 3 and 7 went out to become a millionaire? Or are you one of them.

There is a difference between smart and street smart. A street smart person doesn’t know about what is happening in the world, but he is a very worldly wise person. He knows when is the opportune moment to strike. While the smart person goes on intellectual theories ( being theory it is fundamentally not real).

Here we get the delusional intellectual, who will win a political debate on TV but never win an election. So is being just ‘SMART” not good?

Remember the extremely skilled person can be both i.e A good combination of Street smartness and Intellectual smartness. This is what I am aspiring to be. Since I am writing this Blog. You can guess what kind of ’SMART” am I?

Resuming Blogging

It’s been sometime that I have not blogged. There are a few reasons for it. One is I feel tired and overworked all the time. Writing a blog seems vain during such times. I thought I would do video blogging, but not so confident about it.

I write this blog, and try to be as open as possible on an open platform. Some times I feel people use the knowledge they gain about me from my writing against me. Predators I call them or vultures. I write because I feel I have a brave voice, but I feel run down all the time. It gets tiring.

But I also write to connect to a person who might relate to my problems, my challenges. May be I can give the person an insight in to something. I really hope someone is learning something from my mistakes.

What I have decided is that I will do very short posts from now on. Keep it under 200 words.

I am not alone, mera pass community hai!

I am alone – This is stuck in my head. It is not that I am the only one who thinks this way. In a break up scene IRL – I tell my ex “ Why do you bother, go and live your life, BE HAPPY” She replies “ Because you have no one”. This temporary weakness of my ex during the break up and her statement “because you have no one” ricocheted in my brain several times.

It does every single day. Every single day, I am reminded on my aloneness. My alone ness is compounded by the fact, that I reject all tribes who try to adopt me. Recently an old friend asked for a number he said, this Whatsapp group is like family. I felt “oh my God, I so want to belong to some group, some place where there are people who accept me.” By the evening, I messaged him, that I found the group very distracting and I am leaving it.

## Community Man not a tribes Man

Whatsapp groups are really not my scene. I do run some community handles. Some of the community member on social media consider me their hero. When on occasion I met them, they have confessed they are in awe of me. This was my Super star moment!! It is another case that they left disappointed, as they found me a bit cold perhaps.

### Community is a loose knit group vis-a- vis Tribe

In tribe there is lot of solidarity with loyalty being the key component. You should be able to kill for a tribe. Community is more of people who agree on certain aesthetics. It is more loose. Community is more harmonious.

The question I am grappling is, will I have ever be able to part of a family?

Help me by adding me to a Whatsapp group.

I thought my Life would be like my Father’s

I think there was only one man I looked up to when I was growing up. It was my father. He had successfully built a narrative about himself to me of being a great man.

The story was

“ I ran away from home at the age of 10 with no money. I came to Mumbai and became an Engineer form a prestigious mumbai College studying under Street lamps often”.

Most of this is true, he was extremely successful given the condition. How many kids who run away from home can build houses and buy imported cars in their life time. But then this a story I hear often from the baby boomers. Baby Boomers coming to Bombay during Partition and then building houses in Pali Hill or becoming successful in their own rights.

Were Indian Baby Boomers relatively more successful ?

I really don’t know. I at least haven’t come across such a piece of study on Indian baby boomers. But in America and Europe, baby boomers saw the worst of the days after WWII and saw the best of the days. They amassed substantial wealth.

Why did I think I will have a life like my fathers

My life is so much different. I spend most of time working in front of a laptop. I work alone most of the time. Most of my work is done over emails and phone. I have no office to go to. I sometimes go to Starbucks to work.

Dad once home would eat his dinner and go to sleep. I work before dinner and after dinner. There is no fixed time for my work. I can work from any place in the world. Anywhere I will be paid is my office.

What will be the life of the next gen?

I spend considerable time worrying about the career of my children. Will it be better or will it get worse. Will they live on basic income or will they be millionaires. Are they under the same delusion that I was? What can I do to make them awake? Do they even realise how good one needs to be to succeed? Amen!

I am a writer, here is why.

Everybody nowadays thinks he/she is a writer, including me. A school friend on seeing my blog messaged me on FB saying “ I didn’t know you could write”. I chuckled, I could barely speak English till I was in 10th Standard.

In the 11th Standard, my Catholic neighbour would only speak English and I picked up slowly. So English is my third language so to say. Street Hindi/Marathi being the first two. One of the most frustrating part of my growing up years, is not having the right words to express myself. While the elders around brandished the vocabulary. I mulled and sulked. When will I have able to speak such pure Marathi.

My Marathi never improved, but my English definitely has is better. I am told I express well. But I know, it is nowhere close to be a novel writers English. But I haven’t read Chetan Bhagat yet. But I wouldn’t like to torture you with the idea of me wiring a book, so this blog is my way of asking to be heard. IT WAS BECAUSE NO ONE FUCKING WOULD LET ME SPEAK UP AS A CHILD< GROWING UP>!!!

Everybody would tell me I was a quiet child, when I was seething to be let out. I wanted to talk but I just didn’t have the vocabulary. All the time, all the relatives and family friends would say, Manu is a quiet child. I am still a quiet person, I really never learnt to speak up. I am not the person who will let himself on to others.

Those were the Dark Times

Those early 80’s were dark period. There was no one publishing articles on “how to become a better writer”. My father would have thought I was out of my mind if I had said I don’t want to be an Engineer but a writer. Maybe that’s the reason he passed away so early.

Writing is my revenge

It seems writing is my revenge or revolt against those elders who had the words to speak eloquently. Now when I meet some of those elders, I feel I am better sometimes at speaking and writing (of course).

Writing is about controlling your world

The world doesn’t make sense. Everything is going crazy. No one knows what is happening. You are growing weaker ( and poorer) every day. People are killing and lynching. The rich are getting richer and then there is the rather weird middle class. In these times, writing is how you control you little world. Till you are writing down, everything seems to be in control.

Writing is about creating beauty

I am happiest when I am reading. Once an elderly aunt told me. Reading is the most selfish thing a person can do. Her husband ( a very bright chap) was addicted to reading. He must have ignored the sweet lady. Just because reading gives me so much joy. I feel I should also write and maybe someone feel elated after reading my words.

* Note this document hasn’t been proofread, excuse the typo’s*

Halwa Ya Baladi Homage to Egypt Cover By Line Sleibi

This Egyptian song has become my ear worm this week!

This song was sung in the 1970’s by an Egyptian singer. The cover is sung by Lina who is absolutely marvellous at it. The musicians have also done an amazing job. The setting on the terrace create the most mesmerising atmosphere and you feel transported to Palestine, where Lina Sleibi comes from.

Helwa Ya Baladi is an homage to Egypt by Dalida (the singer) who was born in Egypt. Below is the Translation of the song. You can check the Arabic Wordings here

A beautiful word and many more
My country is beautiful
A beautiful song and many more
My country is beautiful
My hope was always
To come back to my country
And stay with you forever
 
Memories from the past
My country I remember
My heart is full of stories
 
My country, I remember
My first love was in my country
It’s impossible for my to forget
Wheres the old days
Before leaving
 
We used to say that seperation was impossible
 
And every tear on the cheeks used to drop
Filled with lots of hope that we will stay
In the sea of love
 
A beautiful word and many more
My country is beautiful
A beautiful song and many more
My country is beautiful
Wheres the love of my heart
He was away from me
And every time we sing
I think of him
 
Tell me love, where are you going and leaving me
It’s the most beautiful song were both going to sing
My country is a beautiful word to be singing between the lines
 
A beautiful word and many more
My country is beautiful
A beautiful song and many more
My country is beautiful
My hope was always
To come back to my country
And stay with you forever

I earlier thought that it must be a love song. Why would I like an Arabic song which I really don’t understand. I guess this proves the language of music is universal.

Hope you enjoy it!

My words don’t need you any more

My words don’t need you anymore

They have moved on to a better place.

A place that doesn’t want anything from you. My words now don’t want to be heard. They are comfortable in their own skin.

They are there for no reason. They just flow like water finds in own level. They will flow and find their way like water. They will quench thirst, grow a tree or a forest. They might just get wasted in a puddle or drown in the deep blue sea.

These words of mine are as pure as rainwater. They fall without any discrimination. It is not their fault they fell on you. You came in the way.

You are not special don’t ban my words.

No means No but consent is much nuanced.

The husband is a wife beater, but the wife refuses to register a Police complaint. It has been going on for years. She could really put him behind bars, but forget calling in the Police she endures it and lives with it. Does this mean that she consents to her husband beating her up?

They fight like cats and dogs. She tells him to get out of the house. Everyday it is the same story. She goes hysterical and goes maa bahen on him. Maybe he started the fight by calling her a whore. But the moment he steps out she says don’t go. They are lovers again. Does this mean she like to be called a whore and wants to go this mental trauma everyday?

He whatsapp her everyday, she like his attention. But she doesn’t see any future with him. But he hasn’t whatsapp’d her for quite a few days. She misses him. They are friendly again but then she cannot handle him coming over her. He is confused and backs off. Only to start the entire cycle again. Here obvisouly there is consent when she misses him and not when he comes on too strong on.

Maybe I am mixing up. Why are some bonds so easily broken while some relationships are impossible to break? Who will judge these relationships, is it abuse or is it relationship karma. The thing is no one says #metoo while in the exchange but in restrospect they clearly look like abuse.

Are we selfish humans only call out when we see we are fully secure from any direct harm? I am not making any judgement on consent. Is no really a no? I am not so sure. No is for negotiation, no is for going back to the drawing board and chasing what you desire, however sick it may sound. Our blueprints are made by people we desire in our life.

Why a middle aged man like me is chasing young girls.

This is a story about a middle aged man and yes he is asking for some empathy. I find the young just don't understand us. We are not as creepy as they think we are. Trust me, we are just better version of our senseless youths.

I read an article which said

" Once a woman crosses 40, they are invisible to men in public spaces. Men only have eyes for young women"

About me –

I am a middle aged (divorced) man and yesterday was called on social media for chasing young girls. So I decided to do what all great men do " Look in the mirror".

On a side note –

I condemn shaming random strangers shaming you others on social media. But this is even worse, I was shamed by a woman who knew me as a good guy for last 10 years until yesterday.

It is a trial by social media world. I recommend they understand the concept "skin in the game". Tomorrow your brother or friend could face trial by social media.

How creepy is a middle aged man chasing a young girl ?

I checked with a young 24 year old lady friend how creepy it is if a middle aged man asks you out on a scale of 1 to 10. She rated 5 on 10, but said depends on circumstance and how it is put across. Now, that my chance of being a creep is about 50% I am taking a chance by telling you why I ask young girls to meet me.

Do only rich men have the exclusive moral right to covet young women ?

First clarification – I don't chase young girls.

The reason is simple – The only time I chase a woman is when I am in love with her. Time is scarce, unless you a living on your father's money. I don't have time to chase girls. Young or old, sex or no sex. Period, I don't chase girls.

Second Clarification –

I used to be appalled with the idea of me being out with a woman 20 years younger than me. But at my age all the women are married. Some 40 plus women I met talked down to me. I felt they were so bitter and control freaks, I wanted none of them.

I see young available women everywhere

Maybe I am blind to older woman. But I see young beautiful women everywhere. I only approch them, if they show interest in talking to me. I ask for their number.

Why I need to meet young women ?

I am divorced. I realised as you grow old, your loneliness is acute. You don't have anyone to share your meal, you cannot find even a single person to WhatsApp and chat.

The young women have time on their hands

All the older woman I know, are busy with household responsibilites. Their world revolves around their family. They wouldn't go with me for a dinner or a concert. I need company sometimes?Career middle aged woman are also busy.

Eureka, I discovered unmarried young girls have time to WhatsApp. Pardon me if this post grossed you out. I also find a lot young girls stupid, and want nothing to do with them. I keep the intellegent one, I can talk to.

Do I want to have sex with a young woman ?

This is a no brainer question. But let me answer it anyway. Sex is always on my mind. We are either hungry, horny or sleepy. Thats part of being human and nothing to be ashamed off.

I need someone who is available for sharing my day to day life, my work, relationship. Thes are important and integral to my well being as well as a healthy supply of sex.

Here is my take. If you think it is creepy. Let me know.

Articulating Romantic Love

We were in Love, but why didn’t it feel like love. We had exchanged so many letters, but still it didn’t feel like love. Is there love only when you are physically apart and the momemt your bodies become one the love flies out of the window? Where does Romantic love go when you are have conquered your aquisition ?

I wanted to feel appreciated, She made me feel like I was a compromise. She has to choose between the Devil (me) and the deep blue sea ( her bondage). She chose me, but she couldn’t love me. I was a short term arrangement till she found the love of her life.

The love of my life.

I saw her, she looked deeply silent from within. This kind of woman who bring me deep peace, I am instantly attracted to. I pursued her, I called her. I told her “ I am in love with you”. She said, what do you mean? Please articulate, write an email to me. Since then I have been blabbering and performing the act of a lover.

I am like a fake doctor giving you placebo. How can I articulate about “Love”. I am a cynic, I don’t beleive in love. The long term relationship of my youth made me a hardcore cynic. I was never going to fall in love.

Appreciation

It all boils down to appreciation. I love this women for her virtues. Her virtues blinds me to her faults or lack. But the real reason is far more selfish. I love this woman, because she made me feel appreciated. Her gestures were controlled. She was generous enough to appreciate the man behind the idiotic behavior.

Is Love about value

So now in commercial terms, appreciation increases your value. In this case the mama’s boy is the most valuable person on this planet. Mama’s boy have a bad connotation to it, but there is a postive thing about these mama’s boys. They know how to value a woman.

I was never a mama’s boy, is this the reason for my failure in Love ?

Walking up to a Stranger and telling you lust for her.

Things are tough for guys. If you tell a women you really want her and if that doesn’t come out right. You could be in deep trouble. One reporter friend told me how a techie was arrested for solicing online over Linkedin.

I am petrified of soliciting girls. I say girls, because I don’t have access to a pool of divorcee, middle aged women. I had decided that I was out of the dating/lust scene. But man is basically a horny animal, till he is counting his final breaths.

It is scary to tell a millennnial woman you want her bad, to tell her you like the shape of her. How you would like to feel her, see her naked. Atleast I haven’t bothered to tell anyone so far.

Recently I changed my mind. Though I am a old body, whose teeth might last another decade or so and most of the hair has already gone with the winds. I decided to get in the game.

The Problems

For all the feminism bullshit. It is really difficult to find a woman alone in public spaces without a man. All this talk about independence of Indian woman is very hypocritical #IMHO.

If I am attracted to someone, either she is with her boyfriend, friends or colleages. In short she is already having a good time.

Normal Places to approach a girl

I don’t do tinder. I have no time for it. I don’t flirt on social media. The only time I get flirty is when I am in the cafe or commuting. I like to experince real life.

How to tell a woman you lust for her, without getting reported to the police?

The biggest conflict in my mind is how to tell a completely unknown woman that she is beautiful without her reporting you the police or worse asking the public to beat you.

Respectable places to propose to a woman.

I was wondering, this attraction to strangers of mine can be dangerous. I have to choose a place which is safe enough, where the woman are used to this culture of guys being honest and upfront.

Bars and Lounges

I don’t like the kind of woman who frequent bars and lounges. I haven’t found a single interesting woman there. They are not my type.

Coffeeshops

Yes, Coffeeshops are my scene. I spend a lot of time there and do end up meeting some amazing people.

Events, Museums or Art galleries

I was checking out this exhibitions of paiting and murals. As I was walking in anti-clockwise direction. I saw a beautiful woman walking clockwise. I was immediately attracted to her complexion. I thought she was so beautiful, I need to tell her that. I checked her again, yes I loved her hair.

The Beautiful Painter

I evaluated my decision to approach her for few seconds. I went up to her and asked her who were the artists. She was lost for words. I thought she has realised what is going to follow. I thought well, better for me.

After a few minutes she told me some names of the Artist. I asked her if she paints, she said yes.

I thought there was no much conversation which I could carry on with her. She was for some reason tongue tied. I switched to Hindi, thinking she couldn’t speak English well.

The Proposal

I tell her “ You have a beautiful complexion.”

There is momentarily blushing on her part and then an unbeleivable look. I try to look her from her face to her toes and try to tell her without words, doesn’t she know how beautiful she is? She acts surprised. I wonder, if I am the first man to tell her this?

It is then my turn to roll my eyes and tell her, it is a musuem and I thought it was apt to offer you an complement. She finally throws in a look of understanding. I am releived that we have finally made peace.

The Phone Number

A bit cheesed off, i decide to walk away. But I couldn’t. I turn back and ask her if she would like to exchange numbers. She is speechless and after a few seconds, blurts out “ But, who are you?”. I think, is that really important ? I feel like saying I am Bond, James Bond. I tell her a glamorus lie, I am a journalist. She seems releived.

I ask her number again, she is reluctant to pass it on. I realise this is a too brazen for her. She doesn’t do this kind of stuff. But neither do I. I ask her the 3rd time, a bit exasperated. I take out my phone, she hurriedly tells me her number. I ask her name and say thanks. I walk away.

Before leaving the gallery, I try calling her. Her number is not reaachable. I check her number on true caller. It is indeed the correct number.