If you live with people who you love, or have people who you love or are bound in a relationship of love. You have often played the Martyr. Playing a Martyr means laying down your own happiness so that the people who you are bound by bonds of friendship and relationship can get what they please and be more happy than you.
We all do it, I get rare opportunities to be in this position of playing the Martyr, but I have also done my bit. Actually, I gave away things which were not important to me, I just acted that I gave away something very important, this is just a thought perhaps not a fact.
We can console our heart and mind, that what we gave away reluctantly or fightingly was never ours, what was snatched away from us was also probably never meant for us. But we would never know. We only know what we got from others as our share of happiness and how callously or ignorantly we squandered or gambled it, like the Pandavas did with draupadi.
But the Joy of being a Martyr, dont we feel so good, about the giving we did, dont we brag to ourselves that we gave away everything, but kept our honor. But what is this honor, can we be addicted to playing a martyr? can we indulge ourselves in this defeatist but pleasure activity of playing a martyr, only to know never to claim or find what is rightfully ours?
So complex, this is like Bhagwat Gita climax moment when Arjuna thinks why should i kill my own brothers and sisters and loved ones, for what purpose for what ends?? We can get entagled with our own in sharing a pie of happiness? who gives in, the martyr or selfish person who only wants a bigger pie??