Wife beater

domestic violence Feb 19, 2011

Victim’s (wife’s) Story.

I was just 16, when my parents decided that I was growing up and the guys in the village were looking at me in a inaapropriate way, so they decided to marry me off. They found a man 5 years older than me, he looked average and was not even doing well, but since the dowry demanded was so low, my parents decided he would be just right for me. I got married, and things were nice, we went out to the temple on the hill after our marriage and stayed there for a few days. Then one day he came home drunk, i asked him where he has been, and why didnt he brings the choclate bar that he had promised in the morning. He went wild, that was the first time, he hit me, he slapped me hard, when I protested, he hit harder, sometimes with chappals, or whatever was handy at the time.

I thought I would never question him if at all he went out with his friends, I did everything to please him. But he was not paying money for basic neccesities at home, I had to ask him about his whereabouts, this angered him, all the time, and he hit me hard and almost broke my back this time. I wish I had died, I just couldnt take the humilation. But Since I was illerate and was already expecting my 3rd child I was helpless, I had no where to go, no one to turn to, not a soul who would defend me against this monster. 

One day when I was tired he comes home and wants to have sex, and he cant get it up, and he gets furious, he thrashes me black and blue, he kicks me around, now tell me “what is my fault?”. I somehow manage to get a job, I need to get some money home, as this man has completely stopped paying, he gambles and drinks away his entire salary. The beating continues, sometimes he dissapears for days together, and those are the most peaceful days of my life. And then when he came back home one day, he tried to hit me, my eldest son only 14, asked his father to back off, and when he doesn’t heed the warning, my son only 14, beats up his father. Since then the beating have stopped, and one day he left home and dissapeared.

Perpetrator’s ( husband’s) story

I was 21 when my parents married me to this girl, she was nice when we got married. I took her out, bought her choclates, indulged her with gifts. But then soon I realised she was very childish, once I was out with my friends, she questions me about my whereabouts, she is never happy, she always wants gifts, choclates and all the nice things to wear, where do I get the money. I lost my cool, I hit her so hard, that my hand hurt. But then I relaised I shouldn’t have hit her so hard, I said sorry and then next day i bought her a present.

Now things were not going well for me, my madar**** boss makes me work 16 hours and doesnt pay overtime. My body aches, and when I am home, all she does is pay attention to the children, like I am nobody. Why doesnt she realise I am her everything, I am her God!!  She is the most insenstive selfish person in the world, I cant stand the sight of her, and I beat her black and blue. I broke my chappals also.

When it comes to sex, she acts like she is doing me a huge favor, she just lies there cold and frigid, she makes me feel like a bloody animal. How am I supposed to get excited, I am sure she is sleeping around with someone, she has started working *the bitch*. But i wont have any of this, I beat her up, and ask her who is she having an affair with, there is a bloody mess, but she wont say a word, such stubbon women are!

She has destroyed my life, I was once a hard working man, with good salary, now I can only drink and gamble, that’s my only companion, I have no friends, no sympathisers left. She has even made the children on her side, one day my eldest son beat me up with a cricket bat. I have no one in this world, I left home and I am dead now. 

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